The idiocies of a damena yatsu in Salariman Island: Blog

Views from the street

Wed, 27 Aug 2008 04:44:58 GMT

How do you feel about the Narita incident and "guinea pig" foreigners?

Yuko Uehara : It only applies to gaijin, right? Well, then I think it's OK. We need to be strict on gaijin and keep our country uncontaminated and homogeneous even though I'm a student of foreign literature.
Nanami Aikawa: I agree. Gaijin are the only ones who sometimes try to not pay. They don't respect our system.
Yuko Uehara: Yes, and we should start decreasing the number of native teachers. They are plain useless. This country spends too much money on native language teachers but we are still crap at foreign languages.
Nanami Aikawa: Right. I can never understand what they are talking about.
Yuko Uehara: Take for example my French teacher Pierre-Louis Vigne and English teacher John Broe. They are just so weird. The first is always bragging about not paying kokuho or chihouzei. They should be the first ones to be deported. They are ruining my student career.
Nanami Aikawa: Fingerprinting and photographing at airports are not enough. Before re-entering the country, foreigners must also show proof of local tax and national health insurance payments as well as proof of having paid their NHK fee as we all Japanese pay them.
Yuko Uehara: Do we?

Yuko Uehara (left, English and French literature student)/Nanami Aikawa (right, biology student)

"More faxes!!" cries out NHK newscaster Takayuki Ichihashi

Wed, 27 Aug 2008 02:53:47 GMT

Do you remember the "Go West" train scene by the Marx Brother where Groucho shouts for more firewood to keep the train running? Well, that's how NHK newscaster Takayuki Ichihashi (一橋　忠之) must have felt after Japan's victory in the softball Olympic final. Due to an unexpected delay in the medal ceremony arrangements, Takayuki Ichihashi was almost forced to ask for more and more faxes to fill in broadcasting time and keep the programme afloat. Faxes sent by young televiewers with congratulatory messages for the Japanese athletes are one the main feature of the programme presented by Ichihashi, a kind of first step to the "love of nation" clause that many Japanese politicians want to include in the Constitution and a quick response to the "bill calling on schools to teach respect for tradition and love of the homeland" proposed by the Shinzo Abe's cabinet. Love of your homeland through your athletes in international competitions, regardless of their final position. The absolute focus on the perfomance of Japanese athletes achieved chauvinist proportions in several occasions. A memorable one was the case of Kumiko Ikeda (池田久美子) , Japan's record holder in long jump and and gold at the 2006 Asian Games, who however failed to qualify for the final of the women's long jump in Beijing. Again and again "VTR"'s of her three jumps, her last a foul, were shown in an hour basis. Finishing up in position 20th was no obstacle for NHK to remind us of her "ganbare" attitude. Ichihashi always served as a great comforting figure to the numerous children watching their heroes fail miserably. "They have done their best and we thank them for that" were some of his melodramatic comments made with watery eyes.. However Fuji TV presenter Tomoaki Ogura (小倉智昭) voiced a feeling shared by many when he said on Monday morning from Beijing that the Japanese media left Japanese viewers unaware of what had happened with many athletes from other countries.

As more and more faxes were coming in, I'm sure some of them counterfeited by staff members, beads of sweat running down Ishihara's temples were starting to appear. NHK is going through a lean period, with hundreds of thousands of Japanese viewers refusing to pay their TV licence, and that was made obvious by the fact that NHK had to rely on faxes sent by Japanese kids to continue with the programme (I'm sure the main reason being not having had the money or the willingness to buy the rights to show other competitions), as well as showing a complete lack of anticipation and preparation on the part of the producers.

Beautiful rubbish/きれいなゴミ

Sun, 18 May 2008 04:05:43 GMT

There is no doubt that Japanese are masters at the art of wrapping things. Many times the often used phrase to express humbleness when giving a present "Kore wa tsumaranai mon desu ga" (This is just a small something but...) is nevertheless betrayed by an elaborated and intricate ribbon arrangement, which is worth more than the actual gift.

But Japanese are not less creative at the art of discarding paper and cardboard. The symmetrical Lego-like structures made of bundles of various printed matter that neighbours erect in pavements could easy pass as art installations and are worthy candidates for the Turner Prize.

Japanese are very meticulous indeed in how things are presented, such as individually packed sunflower seeds, but they also take recycling very seriously, otherwise they would run the risk of turning this island of salariman into an island of rubbish.

Suntory CM vs Japan Bashing

Wed, 07 May 2008 14:45:33 GMT

Before being labelled as another gaijin (外人) Japan basher, I will take this opportunity to write my first words of praise that appear in this blog about this wonderful country. But the temptation to add a word of criticism is just too excruciating, so here it goes. Japan bashing (日本バッシング) is an extremely convenient multi-purpose word used by those, especially of the political right, to shy away from any criticism made towards their own country. A bigoted people? Not quite, but Japanese politicians are members of the media certainly are.

And now for something completely different.
As I have written somewhere else Japanese tarento-loaded TV commercials are a far cry from originality and brainwork. Fortunately, from this pile of daft tarentos smacking their lips after drinking a beer, emerged the latest TV ads by drink giant Suntory, which have proved to be some of best of the last two years. The two ads here discussed feature actors Jun Kunimura (國村隼) and Ayumi Itou (伊藤歩) in the roles of father and daughter respectively, and who, by the end of the TV spot, share a glass of Suntory old (オールド) whisky.

父の上京篇 (Dad goes to Tokyo) is already a classic. The daughter suddenly gets a phone call from his father who has arrived in Tokyo with the excuse of a fake business trip, but really to check if she is all right. Her daughter tells him that she is doing just fine (順調、順調、junchou, junchou), a lie she later confesses. However she also knows that her father has lied too. On his way back by train, the father admits how his little trick has been discovered (バレたか, bareta ka). Marvellous.

In 父の誕生日 (Dad's birthday) the daughter, this time, phones her father asking him what kind of present he would like for his birthday. His father replies that he has none in mind and that at his age there is nothing to celebrate. While looking at pictures drawn by her daughter when she was a child he remembers how cute she was. At that very same moment the doorbell rings and the voice of her daughter is heard saying お届け物、娘さんから　(otodokemono desu, musume san-karu/delivery from your daughter). Delightful.

The combination of high-quality TV drama and masterful touches of indie cinema brought to life by the absolutely charming and convincing performance of the actors, elevates these two adverts to the realms of art. Parents and children hidden true feelings and thoughts, a staple of the classic Japanese TV drama, also immortalized in films by directors such as Ozu, are revealed by the actors speaking off-camera, blurring the line between fiction and documentary, TV commercial and film. The captivating music written and sung by Asei Kobayashi (小林亜星) that accompany these adverts has been used by Suntory old (オールド) whisky TV spots for more than 40 years.
Two gems from the Japanese stupid box.

For more information see these sites:
Dad goes to Tokyo
Dad's birthday

Shachihoko City: Japan's Capital of Cinema

Wed, 02 Apr 2008 03:10:24 GMT

Forget about such film Meccas as Nagoya Cinematheque or Cinema Skhole. The 7 people that attended the projection of "THINGS WE LOST IN THE FIRE" (directed by Susanne Bier) at the Million-za last evening, is sufficient proof to claim Shachihoko City (AKA Nagoya) as Japan's Capital of Cinema. It's a well-known fact the meanness of Nagoya people (ask any Japanese about it), so days like yesterday (映画の日, "Eiga no Hi" or cinema day), when cinema tickets are down to 1000 yen, should be the perfect excuse to be away from shopping centres, patisseries, panchinkos and trendy coffee shops for about two hours and enjoy the magic of a flickering light on a silver screen.

But may not, maybe we are asking too much to these people, sons and daughters of Toyota Corporation. Maybe the joys of manicuring, hair styling, apparel hunting or ケーキバイキング　(cake Viking or cake buffet) are far superior to the pleasure of visual storytelling in the darkness. Or maybe the film itself did not have the right story for these pleasure-seeking people as it plays against the expectations of jun-ai (more info here) film followers. "THINGS WE LOST IN THE FIRE" deals with human loss due to a tragic murder, not due to a terminal disease, the protagonists are well over 30 and 40, some of the them with drug addiction problems, not young, fresh and innocent high school students, these protagonists have sexual needs and serious fidelity doubts, no "jun-ai" (pure love) themes are seen anywhere, the soundtrack features artists like Lou Reed, Frank Zappa or Captain Beefheart, rather than Aiko, Yuki or Hirai Ken.

And where are the foreigners living in this wonderful city, generous patron of all arts? They are nowhere to be seen in the cinemas, even in "Eiga no Hi". They have fallen under the pecuniary influence of the locals, filling up their schedules with so-called private lessons at trendy chain coffee shops.

Ideas for a Japanese wide show programme

Thu, 20 Mar 2008 00:36:44 GMT

Looking for ideas to fill in 30 minutes of screening time for a Japanese wide show (ワイドショウ) programme? Not to worry. Get the rights to broadcast a 1 month old wide show programme from a neighbouring country, let's say Taiwan, reporting on a sex scandal, for example the Edison Chen photo scandal, and then hire a translator to do the subtitles and a narrator to emphasize what it's obvious to everyone.
On the top of this, send on economic class a reporter with a camera crew to try to buy in the street, according to this reporter looking like Tokyo's Ueno, a pack of naughty photos of Edison Chen and famous Taiwanese female idols and you've got it! 30 minutes of inexpensive TV trash of the highest level!
And this is what Nihon TV have just done in its morning programme Sukkiri hosted by Koji Kato (加藤浩次), Terri Ito (テリー伊藤) and Helene　Hayama　(葉山エレーヌ) to raise the standards of Japanese TV.

I want to fuse with you!!!

Sun, 09 Mar 2008 02:39:00 GMT

Pachinko companies must surely produce the weirdest, silliest and most outrageous TV adverts in Japan. Sankyo panchinko company has been broadcasting an advert clearly targeting the Akiba (秋葉) tribe. In this advert, a typical Japanese garu (ガール、girl), the kind one can encounter in the so-called fashion health business, is seen standing on a rooftop and looking directly at the camera while saying in a "sensual" high-pitch voice:, "Anata to gattai shitai (あなたが合体したい。。。) or "I want to fuse with you". Once this is said a superrobot from the animé series Genesis of Aquarion turns up next to her and projects his mechanical around the girl. Animé fans might find certain similarities between this shot and "tentacle hentai sex" scenes of many pornographic animé. The sexual innuendo here is quite obvious since the noun gattai (合体) also means copulation or penetration. But if you weren't 100% sure yet, later we get this girl shouting the word "Kimochiii 気持ちいいい” "It feels good" as the arm cruises through the city and eventually penetrates the stratosphere, not leaving any room for imagination. This is done in a long shot so the arm takes almost the shape of a spermatozoid. And one still wonders why feminism has never taken root in this country...

Miss Rikudoru, we bid you farewell!!!

Mon, 18 Feb 2008 11:02:57 GMT

In Japan there is an idol (idoru/アイドル) for every age, profession and sexual orientation. Otakus have them, cram school teachers have them, too and even METI public servants have them. And what about the Jieitai (自衛隊) or so-called Self-Defence Forces? Of course, they couldn't continue with their rebuilding programme in Samawah (Iraq) unblocking sewage drains and fixing light bulbs without their own pin-up to shorten up their lonely nights in the desert. And this tonic in the shape of a woman is Wakada Fukushima (福島和可菜) AKA　"Rikudoru" (リクドル, a combination of the terms "rikugun" , 陸軍 or army, and idoru). But, hang on! because this muse of the Japanese spirit (Yamato damashii, 大和魂) has just retired. And this very same morning at that temple of enlightenment on Fuji TV called "Megamashi Terebi" she made a final guest appearance.
Please send a warm "hip, hip, hooray" to this much-needed army morale builder's personal blog.

Sportswomen Fetish/スポーウーマンのフェチ

Sat, 09 Feb 2008 04:34:31 GMT

Japan has a fetish, among innumerable others, for its sportswomen. You name the sport and you'll get them: golfers (Ai Miyazato, 宮里藍 Sakura Yokomine, 横峯さくら), figure skaters (Miki Ando, : 安藤美姫), skiers (Aiko Uemura, 上村愛子), snowboarders (Mero Imai, 今井メロ), volleyball players (Kaoru Sugayama, 菅山かおる, but really the whole team had be to included, for example Megumi Kurihara, 栗原恵, Sachiko Sugiyama, 杉山祥子, Saori Kimura, 木村沙織 ) and so on. Nevertheless, the prize for the most desired sportswomen has to go to beach volleyball player Miwa Asao (浅尾美和) and "Ogushio" (オグシオ), the nickname given to the doubles badminton team, Kumiko Ogura (Ogu, 小椋　久美子) and Reiko Shiota (Shio, 潮田玲子 ).

Fuji TV, that bastion of lowbrow entertainment, has become the number one sponsor of these sports queens, through programmes like "Junk Sports"(ジャンクSPORTS) hosted by Downtown member Masatoshi Hamada (浜田雅功) or their hijack of last year's Volleyball World Cup and the year before World Championship hosted by Japan. In a shameless display of chauvinism, Fuji TV almost never showed a replay of a point scored by the rival team, concentrating only on the movements of their national idols cheered by a mass of patriotic Japanese supporters, the ubiquitous bunch of talento parasites an upcoming boy band that the channel is trying to promote (This use of boy and girl bands to "liven up" volleyball games is a constant in Japan TV practices to promote them. Just an example, in 1999, Arashi's debut single, simply titled "A・RA・SHI", became the theme song for the 8th World Cup of Volleyball hosted by Japan in that year.

Recently, the morning programme preferred by Japanese teenagers, Mezamashi Terebi (めざましテレビ), presented a new female sports idol, the car racer Mika Kagoshima (神子島みか), who happens to be also a model with gigantic eyes. The type of girls chosen by current fashion magazines to illustrate their front pages. This ocular feature is emphasized so much that the girls really look like they have been through a session of Ludovico Technique. One can imagine those Ero Jiji at Fuji TV board of directors, headed by chairman Hisashi Hieda （日枝久) grinning their teeth at the prospect of a new sports idol generating loads of free publicity and higher viewing rates for their own channel.

What about the whales?/ 日本テレビは偽善的だ！

Mon, 21 Jan 2008 09:22:34 GMT

Sekai-ichi Uketai Jugyo (, 世界一受けたい授業 ,The Most Wanted Lessons in the World, Nihon TV, Sat., 7:57 p.m.), hosted by comic duo "Cream Stew" (くりぃむしちゅー), features an array of sensei in different fields lecturing the usual bunch of talento parasites.

The two nights ago programme had wildlife photographer Mitsuaki Iwago　（岩合光昭) talking about animals facing extinction. First, he reminded the audience of the loss of such creatures as the Tasmanian Tiger or the Yangtze River Dolphin. Then, he went through a pretty desolating picture of animals on the brink of extinction and their remaining numbers such as the Kakapo bird in New Zealand, the Polar Bear, the Southern Asian Rhinos among others. There was a mention to the EU measures to protect bluefin tuna and eels from overfishing to which human food disposal Gyaru Sone (ギャル曽根) cried "But eels are so tasty".

All the parasites in the studio, as usual and only momentarily, did their best to look concern about this global problem. But the question was where the bloody whales were. It must have been a very delicate subject to talk about as there was not mention of them at all. Or maybe whales were mentioned but that part was censored from the original programme, with also the part where Gyaru Sone (ギャル曽根) goes again "But whales are so tasty", following the recent confrontation between the Japanese Whaling Vessel Yushin Maru No. 2 and activists from the Sea Shepherd Conservation. Society.

Tabe Sugi: Burst Open!

Sat, 29 Sep 2007 07:55:49 GMT

It is a fact that the so-called Japanese TV talentos are the exact opposite of what their job implies, people without a single hint of talent. TV programmes from the major channels such as Fuji TV and TBS can be seen as pig farms where these social parasites are shown being continuously fed with the best food you can find in Japan until slaughter time comes, that is when their popularity stars to fade and before you know it, they have evaporated from the small screen.

And this takes us to this message topic "overeating", or in Japanese tabe sugi, because this is Gyaru Sone's main talent. This gluttonous queen has appeared in various programmes quite recently. In one of these programmes Sone (1,62m and 43kg) is taken to a sushi restaurant and gobbled down 120 pieces of sushi. Later, at a clinic, she is put in a multislice TC scanner, and it is revealed that her stomach has expanded 15 times its size. A doctor explains us how Sone has trained her stomach to be able to expand to such a size, just like athletes trained their bodies, oh really?

So how can she keep herself so slim? Through a thermal video we see how Sone is able to increase her body temperature by 1.5 centigrades in a matter of 7 minutes, which means she is able to burn calories as she gulps down her food. That and the massive elephant-size dumps she takes the next morning helps her to keep her figure. So no help from two little fingers down the throat is needed, then. But of course, eating such a massive amount of food can't be very healthy, can it? Not really, says a doctor. Future health problems that this disproportionate eating habits could cause, nevertheless don't prevent the TV programme from asking Sone to compete in the studio with other talento parasites. How is that for moral responsibility? And how is that for one of lowest form of entertainment you can find in salariman island?

Gyaru Sone is just one of those tragic figures in modern TV culture with a popularity-seeking disorder. The best thing it could happen to her to enter into the annals of history is to have a last grand bouffe and burst open to death.

We don't really need the case of Africa to highlight the enormous waste of food and lack of ethics of this kind of entertainment. Living in the second largest economy in the world and seeing a woman with a weight of 43 kilos unnecessarily shovelling 120 pieces of sushi for free without tasting a single piece whereas some children in Japanese state schools get by with a couple of onigiri or a melonpan as the only the food they have until dinner is similarly disgusting.

NHK newsreaders are humans!

Sat, 22 Sep 2007 05:45:29 GMT

So NHK newsreaders are humans after all. Quite recently, and possibly copying the format of other news channels, the newsreaders of NHK news programme Ohayo Nippon, Matsuo Tsuyoshi and Nachiko Shudo, have started the news with some vacuous, and well-rehearsed, small talk to enliven the rest of the programme. Something on the lines of how cheap the sanma (mackerel pike) is this year because fishermen don’t have to sail too far to catch it, saving in fuel and so on.

The only trait of humanness they have shown so far has been when the programme switches to the weather report or sports news. At this point, NHK newsreaders show they can truly produce improvise commentaries and questions and can delight the audience with an amazing range of facial expressions and vocal tonalities.

Nevertheless, when the tiny Nachiko Shudo, literally descends from her stand (not lying, check this photo) to join Yasutaka Tamura, he does really like a Japanese teacher and what an awful sense of fashion he has, to present (machikado) is time to switch to the competitors.

NHK newsreaders are famous for their normative Japanese pitch accident, no doubt about that. Their accent is clear, crisp and beautifully flat. But some seem to concentrate so much on the right articulation of words that forget that, after all, they are reporting news. Watching NHK news can have the same effects of a Zelpodim overdose.

Things you will never see on Japanese TV

Sun, 16 Sep 2007 08:15:41 GMT

There are a few things you'll never see on Japanese TV. One of them is representatives of the police forces appearing in news and given details about cases. It's very weird. The police basically hand in written reports to the TV channels and these just read them as if they were written in stone. Thus, TV channels become mouthpieces for the police, another case of Japanese being afraid of challenging authority, unless the police really screw it up, as when 13 men and women, ranging in age from their early 50s to mid-70s, were wrongly arrested and indicted with buying votes with liquor, cash and catered parties (see Japan Times).

Another thing you will never see on Japanese TV is a day without news about North Korea. Japanese news have an obsession with the communist country bordering on the pathological. Anything really goes to keep the Japanese population scared of the red peril and, at the same time, interested in the case of the Japanese civilians kidnapped and still some accounted for by North Korea, with the effect of mitigating cries of several human rights groups calling the Japanese government to admit that the Japanese Army had forced women into prostitution along with other war wrongdoings.
Soon will have reports of a North Korean plot to poison expensive matsutake mushrooms, an Autumn delicacy in Japan, that are shipped to Japan.

"Nice backside, Ms Campbell", says Yuji ODA

Sun, 02 Sep 2007 01:48:43 GMT

TBS (Tokyo Broadcasting System) has done a fantastic job in its coverage of the Athletics World Championships in Osaka by focusing, almost exclusively, in the top stars and the Japanese athletes and ignoring everyone else. Two examples are the voyeuristic, stalking like, camera licking manner of reporting pole vaulting champion Yelena Isinbayeva, which comes as no surprise knowing the acute fetish that the Japanese media has for sportswomen. And of course, the sickening and grinding repetition of the 4x100-metre relay semifinal in which the samurai-tachi (the samurai group) finished 3rd managing to qualify for the final.

And let's not talk about the professionalism of some of TBS commentators. What is a bad singer like Beni Arashiro doing reporting a World Athletics Championship? And are announcers Sonoko Yamagata and Mai Demizu able to think of other questions apart from "How do you feel (after the event)?" or make other comments except "many people are waiting for a world record...").

However, no one could top Yuji Oda for his sagacity. If you didn't hate him enough for his bad singing and acting, then his loud, vacuous, repetitive growls should have done the job. But the cherry on this amazing reporting cake was when he had the brilliant idea of commenting on Veronica Campbell as having a nice backside. I am really sure that many at home, whether men or women, have the same kind of thoughts when looking at the fantastic body proportions of many athletes. But is it really OK to say that on live TV?

With only 4-5 minutes of continuous live broadcast between never-ending commercial breaks, the emission was a complete success in missing exciting moments that the editor then had to hurriedly chopped up and present in a messy, ultra-fast collage of highlights.

And again, with the exception of the opening day and Saturday 1st August (probably due to the systematic bombardment of images from Friday's 4x100-metre relay semifinal, which gave then a mythologising effect and artificially inflated the hype for Saturday's final) the stadium has looked day and night pretty empty. Could have been the 7,000 yen that the cheapest ticket cost a deterrent? Or the fact that Japanese (pretend to) work until so late that couldn't even make it for the last event of the day? Or the asphyxiating heat and humidity?

Still, I wouldn't go as far as El Mundo "sports journalist" Eduardo J. Castelao in ridiculing the underperformance of the Japanese athletic team as one of the reasons for explaining the failure of the games. His patronizing words clearly blinds him from seeing objectively the performance of his own country's team, only able, with some exceptions, to secure medals in the unglamorous sport of 20 km walk. Or the fact that Spain has recently achieved unprecedented success in events such as women's 400 metres, 60/100 metres hurdles and long jump or men's 110 metres hurdles thanks to the naturalization of a foreign legion of athletes such as Sandra Myers born in USA, Niurka Montalvo and Joan Lino Martinez born in Cuba, Glory Alozie born in Nigeria, and more recently Jackson Quiñonez born in Ecuador, who has become the first Spanish 110 metres hurdles finalist of the games. Other naturalised athletes are Alicia Matejkova, Yusef El Masri, Kamel Ziani, Yesenia Centeno, Cora Olivero and Aliuska Lopez.

Related links:
TBS sport experts
Quiñónez, el activo más importante en la amplia lista de España

Ero Jiji/ Dirty Old Men

Tue, 28 Aug 2007 04:52:15 GMT

After reading the article Ami, guitar team up against sex trafficking on the Japan Times I started thinking about something I saw in a recent visit to Bangkok.

But first some historical background. Baishun (literally buying sex) tours or sex tours started back in the 1960s when hordes of salariman (the modern Japanese Army) decided to invade Taiwan for a second time to have fun with the local ladies in these so-called sex tours. Apparently, there was a change in this trend in the 1980s when women from Asian countries, such as the Philippines and Thailand, started to arrive in Japan to serve in its sex industry. But is this trend really over? I still remember a famous case in the Guangdong Province, China, when 268 members of a Japanese construction company had "fun" with about 500 Chinese hostesses for two nights.

Back in Bangkok, while all the whitey farang are up in Patpong Street's gogo bars, some homesick Japanese make a stop at the kyabakura, massage parlours and God knows what that abound in the quieter street of Thaniya Street (see photo), known as Little Tokyo, running parallel to Patpong Street. There, Thai girls, probably back from a stint in Japan, dressed in long evening dresses waved goodbye in Japanese to a group of drunk young lads, the scene, nevertheless, looking all very innocent and harmless.

A bit more seedier was the sight of middle-aged Japanese men accompanied by Thai girls, who could have been their daughters, eating and looking like pigs and drinking Asahi beer in the private rooms of the restaurant Baan (Ban) Kun Mae, famous for its excellent Bu Pad Phong (soft shell curry). The girls, apart from one who must have been the organizer of the party, didn't seem to look too excited about the idea of spending an evening with fat and ugly as hell "ero jijis", who on the top of that had a terrible sense of fashion wearing chequered Bermuda shorts as they were.

For more info check this interesting source:
OWED JUSTICE: Thai Women Trafficked into Debt Bondage in Japan

stress, stress, stress, scuatro

Mon, 27 Aug 2007 01:17:34 GMT

So, how do you fight stress? Probably by going to Laos and using the bus system. People could just wait patiently hours and hours for their bus, anywhere else it would be chaos. Mind you, the bus situation in Laos is pretty chaotic itself, you never know when a bus is going leave. Well, actually you might have an idea of when it is going to leave: When the bus is completely packed, it's time to go!. Which also means that it could depart ahead of schedule. First time I took a bus I was told three different departure times: 5:30, 6 and 6:30 PM. Eventually, just after 6PM the bus left the Northern bus terminal at Luang Prabang only to go to the Southern bus terminal to pick up more passengers and then back again to the Northern terminal to get some more people. Unbelievable. And this happened right before a trip to the city of Luang Namtha, 310 kms north of Luang Prabang. in a record time of 10 hours. On the way back from Muang Sing to Luang Namtha (58 km) it was much the same story. I couldn't really figure out if the 8 AM pick-up truck had left earlier or didn't leave at all. The one at 9 never turned up so had to wait for the one at 11, which miracously left on time. But only to have a puncture a few kms after leaving Muang Sing. Still the whole experience was priceless, an inspiring reality check, and will do it again no matter how long I'll have to wait for a bus.

Back at Japanese train stations, people were fuming because the early morning train was 17 seconds late. Ironies of life. A reliable and punctual transportation system is a must for creating a healthy economy. That explains the differences in both countries' economies and why it's so difficult to get, apart from being a landlocked country, fresh sashimi in Laos. But all the Japanese obsession with speed, punctuality and building a powerful economy has created social problems such as kireru (snapping under pressure or stress), karoushi (death from overwork) and one of the highest suicide rates among industrialized countries, as well as a nation of long faces. More ironies of life.

In Laos, even though many people live in tremendously poor conditions they are still able to genuinely smile at you and be generous. Back in sanitized Japan as soon as you leave Airport customs you start noticing the long faces, the shoegazing, the heads buried between shoulders, the dragged feet, the unhappiness of a people living in the second most powerful economy in the world. The only time they show their teeth is to let out a growl and let you know that one more step near their Coach handbag they will bite off your bloody neck. Is this just pure post-holiday blues? A mirage? A typical case of a Western tourist romantic vision of what South-East Asia should be?

I don't know. My friend B from London agrees with me. She says that even though in India people are as poor as a church mouse they can still smile at you and say something nice. And she adds, the more we have the more demanding and obnoxious we become.

Masochist view of history, Showa 1945-1989 and blah, blah, blah

Thu, 23 Aug 2007 23:54:07 GMT

Masochist view of history. This is how some in Japan consider views for admitting wrongdoing in history. Is this the reason why many recent war films, "LORELEI", "OTOKOTACHI NO YAMATO", "ORE WA, KIMI NO TAME NI KOSO SHINI NI IKU" and so on have tried to change the emphasis on the Japanese arm forces as an invading force to that of a defensive force fighting to protect their country and family. Wait a minute! How about the emperor? Weren't they supposed to die for the emperor as well? Yes, of course but that's an extremely touchy topic better not to mention. That's why I love the ending of the film "THE SUN" by Alexander Sokurov. After Mr "Ah so" Hirohito gives his radio broadcast surrender he asks his chamberlain, played marvellously by Shiro Sano:

Hirohito: And what happened with this young man, the sound engineer who taped my speech to the people?
The Chamberlain: He committed hara-kiri.
Hirohito: Did you try to stop him?
The Chamberlain: No.

Another thing that really bothers me is that as many of these films are set at the very end of the war or during the Japanese economic recovery of the 1950s, you are given the impression that the era Showa ran from 1945 to 1989 rather than 1926-1989. A very clear example of this is the Showa photographic exhibition at the Tokyo Metropolitan Museum of Photography titled Showa: Photography 1926-..... I'm sorry ...1945-1989. Its director is very quick to point out that the exhibition does not constitute an exercise in nostalgia. Nostalgia for a better past (As it is said in Spanish Cualquier tiempo pasado siempre fue mejor), even though done in several films with enormous panache, above all in "ALWAYS: SAN-CHOME NO YUHI" or "METRO NI NOTTE", it's, nevertheless, something not to be too proud of.
Thus, producer Chihiro Kameyama tells how the film "BUBBLE FICTION: BOOM OR BUST", another clear nostalgic look at a not so distant past: "was not made with nostalgia". Ah so!, so how is that the protagonist, who goes back in time to 1990 to look for her mother and save the country's economic bubble from bursting, after some initial misgiving, ends up loving the bubble era so much? As The International Military Tribunal for the Far East was the perfect excuse to avoid individual and collective responsibility among the Japanese population in "BUBBLE FICTION: BOOM OR BUST" banks, investment companies, property developers and even the government get off scot-free as an international conspiracy helped by a few disloyal and greedy Japanese are chosen as the culprits for the burst of the bubble. How good is that for revisionist history? Ministry of Education take note.

Yasuo Baba, the director of the film says: "If we had made this movie five years ago, it would have been a much darker comedy. Even last year, when the script was approved, we asked ourselves if it was an appropriate theme. There are many people out there who were burned by the bubble and still have bad feelings about it." Was that so because if the film had been done five years ago it would have also been seen as a masochist view of history?

For a review of the film click here:
BUBBLE FICTION: BOOM OR BUST

Update on Laos' visa on arrival application

Wed, 22 Aug 2007 05:04:52 GMT

And now for something completely useful!!!

To all Loony Planet travellers to Laos here are a few updates on visa on arrival application for those entering the country through Luang Prabang. Most European passport holders are now charged 35 US dollars for a visa on arrival, $36 on weekends, not joking. Refrain from paying in Thai baths since you'll be charged the astronomical amount of 1,500 baths, that is 45 dollars. Even though in the price list at the visa counter it said that German citizens only had to pay $30, the German guy in front me actually had to forked out $36 as a result of not bringing with him a passport size photograph.

According to some travel guides (Laos Footprint April 2006) there is a standard $5 charge for a tuk-tuk, a small pick-up truck really, ride from the airport to the city centre. THIS IS AN ABSOLUTE DAYLIGHT ROBBERY! for a 10 minutes ride, so don't accept it. Regardless of what this guide says you can still negotiate the price and bringing down to 3, or if you are lucky enough 2, dollars per person. Make it cheaper by sharing the truck with other travellers. On the way back you can pay as less as $1 or $1.5 per person.

Again for the airport international departure tax make sure you pay in dollars (10) or kip (10,000). The charge in baths is 450 (more than 13 dollars) To get rid of your small change in kip you could combine them with dollars and even baths for your payment as I did.

In the beginning I created this blog

Wed, 22 Aug 2007 05:01:01 GMT

You must be very bored or have too much free time to dedicate a few minutes of your time to read this rubbish.

Why did I create this blog? I guess it is a kind of free therapeutical exercise. It diverts my thoughts of killing the two old sisters next door with the knife I use to slice sashimi. You see they are completely deaf and being old they get up with the first crow of their AIBO cockerel. So they set up their TV's volume control to 11 really early in the morning to watch that living mummy that is Mino Monta

I'd better not talk about planned murders, somebody might take it too seriously. Not just that but it could be a perfect excuse for the Aichi police department to charge me with some unresolved murder case involving more old ladies with AIBO cockerels murdered with a sashimi knife.

Which makes think about an article that I read in the Guardian where it says something really interesting but unrelated to the previous babble. It connects well with something else I read somewhere sometime in the recent past about the current development of police states around the globe, except in the Antarctica, which national security is in the reliable hands of the Emperor penguins. Anyhow, at one point the article says that the old common law principle that any act which isn't specifically illegal is legal is changing to all acts are illegal except those the "authorities" specifically say are legal. Beautifully scary!