Do you remember the "Go West" train scene by the Marx Brother where Groucho shouts for more firewood to keep the train running?  Well, that's how NHK newscaster Takayuki Ichihashi (一橋　忠之) must have felt after Japan's victory in the softball Olympic final. Due to an unexpected delay in the medal ceremony arrangements, Takayuki Ichihashi was almost forced to ask for more and more faxes to fill in broadcasting time and keep the programme afloat. Faxes sent by young televiewers with congratulatory messages for the Japanese athletes are one the main feature of the programme presented by Ichihashi, a kind of first step to the "love of nation" clause that many Japanese politicians want to include in the Constitution and a quick response to the "bill calling on schools to teach respect for tradition and love of the homeland" proposed by the Shinzo Abe's cabinet. Love of your homeland through your athletes in international competitions, regardless of their final position. The absolute focus on the perfomance of Japanese athletes achieved chauvinist proportions in several occasions. A memorable one was the case of Kumiko Ikeda (池田 久美子) , Japan's record holder in long jump and and gold at the 2006 Asian Games, who however failed to qualify for the final of the women's long jump in Beijing. Again and again "VTR"'s of her three jumps, her last a foul, were shown in an hour basis. Finishing up in position  20th was no obstacle for NHK to remind us of her "ganbare" attitude. Ichihashi always served as a great comforting figure to the numerous children watching their heroes fail miserably. "They have done their best and we thank them for that" were some of his melodramatic comments made with watery eyes.. However Fuji TV presenter Tomoaki Ogura (小倉 智昭) voiced a feeling shared by many when he said on Monday morning from Beijing that the Japanese media left Japanese viewers unaware of what had happened with many athletes from other countries.

As more and more faxes were coming in, I'm sure some of them counterfeited by staff members, beads of sweat running down Ishihara's temples were starting to appear. NHK is going through a lean period, with hundreds of thousands of Japanese viewers refusing to pay their TV licence, and that was made obvious by the fact that NHK had to rely on faxes sent by Japanese kids to continue with the programme (I'm sure the main reason being not having had the money or the willingness to buy the rights to show other competitions), as well as showing a complete lack of anticipation and preparation on the part of the producers.

Before being labelled as another gaijin (外人) Japan basher, I will take this opportunity to write my first words of praise that appear in this blog about this wonderful country. But the temptation to add a word of criticism is just too excruciating, so here it goes. Japan bashing (日本バッシング) is an extremely convenient multi-purpose word used by those, especially of the political right, to shy away from any criticism made towards their own country. A bigoted people? Not quite, but Japanese politicians are members of the media certainly are.

And now for something completely different.
As I have written somewhere else Japanese tarento-loaded TV commercials are a far cry from originality and brainwork. Fortunately, from this pile of daft tarentos smacking their lips after drinking a beer, emerged the latest TV ads by drink giant Suntory, which have proved to be some of best of the last two years. The two ads here discussed feature actors Jun Kunimura (國村隼) and Ayumi Itou (伊藤 歩) in the roles of father and daughter respectively, and who, by the end of the TV spot, share a glass of Suntory old (オールド) whisky.

父の上京篇 (Dad goes to Tokyo) is already a classic. The daughter suddenly gets a phone call from his father who has arrived in Tokyo with the excuse of a fake business trip, but really to check if she is all right. Her daughter tells him that she is doing just fine (順調、順調、junchou, junchou), a lie she later confesses. However she also knows that her father has lied too. On his way back by train, the father admits how his little trick has been discovered (バレたか, bareta ka). Marvellous.

In 父の誕生日 (Dad's birthday) the daughter, this time, phones her father asking him what kind of present he would like for his birthday. His  father replies that he has none in mind and that at his age there is nothing to celebrate. While looking at pictures drawn by her daughter when she was a child he remembers how cute she was. At that very same moment the doorbell rings and the voice of her daughter is heard saying お届け物、娘さんから　(otodokemono desu, musume san-karu/delivery from your daughter). Delightful.

The combination of high-quality TV drama and masterful touches of indie cinema brought to life by the absolutely charming and convincing performance of the actors, elevates these two adverts to the realms of art. Parents and children hidden true feelings and thoughts, a staple of the classic Japanese TV drama, also immortalized in films by directors such as Ozu, are revealed by the actors speaking off-camera, blurring the line between fiction and documentary, TV commercial and film. The captivating music written and sung by Asei Kobayashi (小林亜星) that accompany these adverts has been used by Suntory old (オールド) whisky TV spots for more than 40 years.
Two gems from the Japanese stupid box.

For more information see these sites:
Dad goes to Tokyo
Dad's birthday

Looking for ideas to fill in 30 minutes of screening time for a Japanese wide show (ワイドショウ) programme? Not to worry. Get the rights to broadcast a 1 month old wide show programme from a neighbouring country, let's say Taiwan, reporting on a sex scandal, for example the Edison Chen photo scandal, and then hire a translator to do the subtitles and a narrator to emphasize what it's obvious to everyone.
On the top of this,  send on economic class  a reporter with a camera crew to try to buy in the street, according to this reporter looking like Tokyo's Ueno, a pack of naughty photos of Edison Chen and famous Taiwanese female idols and you've got it! 30 minutes of inexpensive TV trash of the highest level!
And this is what Nihon TV have just done in its morning programme Sukkiri hosted by Koji Kato (加藤浩次), Terri Ito (テリー伊藤) and Helene　Hayama　(葉山 エレーヌ) to raise the standards of Japanese TV.

Sekai-ichi Uketai Jugyo (, 世界一受けたい授業 ,The Most Wanted Lessons in the World, Nihon TV, Sat., 7:57 p.m.), hosted by comic duo "Cream Stew" (くりぃむしちゅー), features an array of sensei in different fields lecturing the usual bunch of talento parasites.

The two nights ago programme had wildlife photographer Mitsuaki Iwago　（岩合光昭)  talking about animals facing extinction. First, he reminded the audience of the loss of such creatures as the Tasmanian Tiger or the Yangtze River Dolphin. Then, he went through a pretty desolating picture of animals on the brink of extinction and their remaining numbers such as the Kakapo bird in New Zealand, the Polar Bear, the Southern Asian Rhinos among others. There was a mention to the EU measures to protect bluefin tuna and eels from overfishing to which human food disposal Gyaru Sone (ギャル曽根) cried "But eels are so tasty".

All the parasites in the studio, as usual and only momentarily, did their best to look concern about this global problem. But the question was where the bloody whales were. It must have been a very delicate subject to talk about as there was not mention of them at all. Or maybe whales were mentioned but that part was censored from the original programme, with also the part where Gyaru Sone (ギャル曽根) goes again "But whales are so tasty",  following the recent confrontation between the Japanese Whaling Vessel Yushin Maru No. 2 and activists from the Sea Shepherd Conservation. Society.