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The idiocies of a damena yatsu in Salariman IslandEnsuring the sabotage of Japanese children's dreams of Tokyo Disneyland
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May 07 Suntory CM vs Japan Bashing Before being labelled as another gaijin (外人) Japan basher, I will take this opportunity to write my first words of praise that appear in this blog about this wonderful country. But the temptation to add a word of criticism is just too excruciating, so here it goes. Japan bashing (日本バッシング) is an extremely convenient multi-purpose word used by those, especially of the political right, to shy away from any criticism made towards their own country. A bigoted people? Not quite, but Japanese politicians are members of the media certainly are. And now for something completely different. As I have written somewhere else Japanese tarento-loaded TV commercials are a far cry from originality and brainwork. Fortunately, from this pile of daft tarentos smacking their lips after drinking a beer, emerged the latest TV ads by drink giant Suntory, which have proved to be some of best of the last two years. The two ads here discussed feature actors Jun Kunimura (國村隼) and Ayumi Itou (伊藤 歩) in the roles of father and daughter respectively, and who, by the end of the TV spot, share a glass of Suntory old (オールド) whisky. 父の上京篇 (Dad goes to Tokyo) is already a classic. The daughter suddenly gets a phone call from his father who has arrived in Tokyo with the excuse of a fake business trip, but really to check if she is all right. Her daughter tells him that she is doing just fine (順調、順調、junchou, junchou), a lie she later confesses. However she also knows that her father has lied too. On his way back by train, the father admits how his little trick has been discovered (バレたか, bareta ka). Marvellous. In 父の誕生日 (Dad's birthday) the daughter, this time, phones her father asking him what kind of present he would like for his birthday. His father replies that he has none in mind and that at his age there is nothing to celebrate. While looking at pictures drawn by her daughter when she was a child he remembers how cute she was. At that very same moment the doorbell rings and the voice of her daughter is heard saying お届け物、娘さんから (otodokemono desu, musume san-karu/delivery from your daughter). Delightful. The combination of high-quality TV drama and masterful touches of indie cinema brought to life by the absolutely charming and convincing performance of the actors, elevates these two adverts to the realms of art. Parents and children hidden true feelings and thoughts, a staple of the classic Japanese TV drama, also immortalized in films by directors such as Ozu, are revealed by the actors speaking off-camera, blurring the line between fiction and documentary, TV commercial and film. The captivating music written and sung by Asei Kobayashi (小林亜星) that accompany these adverts has been used by Suntory old (オールド) whisky TV spots for more than 40 years. Two gems from the Japanese stupid box. For more information see these sites: Dad goes to Tokyo Dad's birthday April 02 Shachihoko City: Japan's Capital of CinemaForget about such film Meccas as Nagoya Cinematheque or Cinema Skhole. The 7 people that attended the projection of "THINGS WE LOST IN THE FIRE" (directed by Susanne Bier) at the Million-za last evening, is sufficient proof to claim Shachihoko City (AKA Nagoya) as Japan's Capital of Cinema. It's a well-known fact the meanness of Nagoya people (ask any Japanese about it), so days like yesterday (映画の日, "Eiga no Hi" or cinema day), when cinema tickets are down to 1000 yen, should be the perfect excuse to be away from shopping centres, patisseries, panchinkos and trendy coffee shops for about two hours and enjoy the magic of a flickering light on a silver screen. But may not, maybe we are asking too much to these people, sons and daughters of Toyota Corporation. Maybe the joys of manicuring, hair styling, apparel hunting or ケーキバイキング (cake Viking or cake buffet) are far superior to the pleasure of visual storytelling in the darkness. Or maybe the film itself did not have the right story for these pleasure-seeking people as it plays against the expectations of jun-ai (more info here) film followers. "THINGS WE LOST IN THE FIRE" deals with human loss due to a tragic murder, not due to a terminal disease, the protagonists are well over 30 and 40, some of the them with drug addiction problems, not young, fresh and innocent high school students, these protagonists have sexual needs and serious fidelity doubts, no "jun-ai" (pure love) themes are seen anywhere, the soundtrack features artists like Lou Reed, Frank Zappa or Captain Beefheart, rather than Aiko, Yuki or Hirai Ken. And where are the foreigners living in this wonderful city, generous patron of all arts? They are nowhere to be seen in the cinemas, even in "Eiga no Hi". They have fallen under the pecuniary influence of the locals, filling up their schedules with so-called private lessons at trendy chain coffee shops. March 20 Ideas for a Japanese wide show programme Looking for ideas to fill in 30 minutes of screening time for a Japanese wide show (ワイドショウ) programme? Not to worry. Get the rights to broadcast a 1 month old wide show programme from a neighbouring country, let's say Taiwan, reporting on a sex scandal, for example the Edison Chen photo scandal, and then hire a translator to do the subtitles and a narrator to emphasize what it's obvious to everyone. On the top of this, send on economic class a reporter with a camera crew to try to buy in the street, according to this reporter looking like Tokyo's Ueno, a pack of naughty photos of Edison Chen and famous Taiwanese female idols and you've got it! 30 minutes of inexpensive TV trash of the highest level! And this is what Nihon TV have just done in its morning programme Sukkiri hosted by Koji Kato (加藤浩次), Terri Ito (テリー伊藤) and Helene Hayama (葉山 エレーヌ) to raise the standards of Japanese TV. March 09 I want to fuse with you!!!Pachinko companies must surely produce the weirdest, silliest and most outrageous TV adverts in Japan. Sankyo panchinko company has been broadcasting an advert clearly targeting the Akiba (秋葉) tribe. In this advert, a typical Japanese garu (ガール、girl), the kind one can encounter in the so-called fashion health business, is seen standing on a rooftop and looking directly at the camera while saying in a "sensual" high-pitch voice:, "Anata to gattai shitai (あなたが合体したい。。。) or "I want to fuse with you". Once this is said a superrobot from the animé series Genesis of Aquarion turns up next to her and projects his mechanical around the girl. Animé fans might find certain similarities between this shot and "tentacle hentai sex" scenes of many pornographic animé. The sexual innuendo here is quite obvious since the noun gattai (合体) also means copulation or penetration. But if you weren't 100% sure yet, later we get this girl shouting the word "Kimochiii 気持ちいいい” "It feels good" as the arm cruises through the city and eventually penetrates the stratosphere, not leaving any room for imagination. This is done in a long shot so the arm takes almost the shape of a spermatozoid. And one still wonders why feminism has never taken root in this country... February 18 Miss Rikudoru, we bid you farewell!!! In Japan there is an idol (idoru/アイドル) for every age, profession and sexual orientation. Otakus have them, cram school teachers have them, too and even METI public servants have them. And what about the Jieitai (自衛隊) or so-called Self-Defence Forces? Of course, they couldn't continue with their rebuilding programme in Samawah (Iraq) unblocking sewage drains and fixing light bulbs without their own pin-up to shorten up their lonely nights in the desert. And this tonic in the shape of a woman is Wakada Fukushima (福島和可菜) AKA "Rikudoru" (リクドル, a combination of the terms "rikugun" , 陸軍 or army, and idoru). But, hang on! because this muse of the Japanese spirit (Yamato damashii, 大和魂) has just retired. And this very same morning at that temple of enlightenment on Fuji TV called "Megamashi Terebi" she made a final guest appearance. Please send a warm "hip, hip, hooray" to this much-needed army morale builder's personal blog.
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